@Berlin, late-night notes
Is this how it feels?..
To feel content.
To eat good food.
To take care of your body.
To go to the gym and leave lighter than when you arrived.
To finish your education.
To have a plan after.
To feel secure.
Loved.
Healthy.
Lucky.
Is this how it feels?
Because if it is -
it feels really good.
Almost unfamiliar.
I think I will get used to this.
But not too much.
Because I’ve been through rough times.
And I know they matter.
I know they have a role.
I know you need the hard in order to recognise the good when it finally arrives.
And still -
I have never felt more in place than I do now.
Everything feels aligned.
Not perfect.
Aligned.
It’s a new place.
A new sensation in my body.
A feeling I am still learning how to inhabit.
It’s a new me.
I am meeting her slowly.
Carefully.
And I like her.
She is the one I wanted to meet for so long -
even when I didn’t know how to ask for her.
She is in touch with her feelings.
She listens to her heart instead of silencing it.
She loves her body - not because it’s flawless, but because it carries her.
She counts on herself.
She knows she is the safest place she has ever had.
She met love.
She lives for love.
But she learned , the hard way..
that loving herself is the most radical thing she could ever do.
And the rest?
The rest will come.
It always does.
Trust time.
Trust the quiet intelligence of the universe -
the one that taught you, again and again,
how to trust,
how to love,
how to give.
She is becoming.
She is becoming the version you once dreamed of -
but wanted too early.
Too fast.
Without understanding that some things can’t be rushed.
That transformation demands time.
And loss.
And patience.
She is the version of yourself you could see in your wildest dreams -
the one you weren’t sure you’d ever touch.
But she’s here.
She arrived with bruises.
With scars.
With visible signs that she lived.
That she tried.
That she failed.
That she broke.
And then -
she was reborn.
Not into something perfect.
But into something real.
Something beautiful in a way you couldn’t imagine before..
because you didn’t yet know it was possible.
You thought she was only a dream.
Something untouchable.
Something sacred and distant.
But she is not distant.
She is you.
And you are both
the beginning
and the end.
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