I’m in a strange place right now. Insomnia and exhaustion have been taking their toll, leading to anxiety and occasional panic attacks. The silver lining? I’ve been here before—just never to this extent. So, I’m optimistic.
I’ve just wrapped up two months of non-stop travel and had an exam yesterday... Wait, no, it was a day ago already. Time’s been slipping away from me lately, and I feel completely drowned. I definitely need some recovery time.
I’ve always had this urge to be out of the ordinary, to experience everything life throws at me. I’ve gone through busy periods, crazy schedules, and hectic lifestyles before, but this time feels different. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve been battling anxiety for almost two years, and I often lose track of time. So, it could have been even longer.
Still, I’m staying hopeful. With exercise, good food, and a solid routine, things should start improving soon. I really need it to, especially for the sake of my mental health, which is a bit... off right now.
But, despite everything, I had an amazing summer. So much happened in such a short time that my brain is still trying to catch up. There are mornings when I wake up in a panic, not knowing where I am, and if I’m in a moving vehicle—like a plane or train—it’s even worse.
Sleep is so essential. It’s what makes everything else work. I’ve been living on minimal sleep for a while now, and it’s exhausting. I used to sleep a lot—good, solid sleep—but now, getting rest feels like a challenge.
I’m back in Milan after almost a week, and I need to start a routine to get things back in order. The last year of my Master’s is starting, and it’s going to be tough. As always, I’ve got side projects on the go too, so my only focus this year is building a routine and sticking to a sleep schedule.
Even though I’m already planning my next trip to Copenhagen for work, my priority is getting my health back on track so I can handle everything else. Traveling back and forth between Milan and Copenhagen is part of the deal until I find a job in Italy, but each trip brings new experiences that I never quite know what to expect. The back-and-forth while managing a full-time degree can be overwhelming at times.
It’s good to be home now, though. There’s something really comforting about a stress-free schedule, not having to travel anytime soon.
PS: This first part was written in September, when I was starting the new semester. By the end of September, something new came into my life, and I started traveling with even more intensity. I traveled all over Italy, moving from one city to the next while trying to keep all my side projects going. It was hectic, but it also pushed me in ways I hadn’t imagined. I didn’t have a moment to stop and process everything. It was a whirlwind, and I can’t deny that it was also exciting and full of growth.
PPS: Nine months later, as a vegetarian now and with a renewed focus on my health, I’m closing my traveling chapter for a while. It feels like it’s time to slow down. Let’s REALLY try stillness this time. I’m hoping that focusing on routine and staying grounded will help me recover, find balance, and finally make the changes I’ve been seeking. Hope it works this time.
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